One of the most unnerving communication habits has traditionally been considered to be a tendency to under-word. This applies to literally all types of interpersonal communication, but this habit becomes especially problematic in romantic relationships.
Why don't people finish talking?
In principle, there is nothing criminal in the understatement itself, because even the closest people, as a rule, have their own reasons not to share this or that information. Another thing is that when a normal desire not to tell a secret develops into a painful inclination to unfinished phrases, this can become a serious problem.
One of the main reasons for omissions is a banal fear of revealing your true emotions and experiences. This fear should not be confused with shyness, because a shy person simply does not consider his words important enough for the interlocutor's attention, while an amateur not to finish, most often, subconsciously suspects his counterpart of trying to gain a certain advantage.
In some cases, people do not say something simply because they have nothing to say. This mainly concerns men with their straightforward thinking, but sometimes the fair sex also avoids answering questions. However, women often do it for other reasons: to maintain intrigue and create a mysterious image.
Understatement can be an effective polemical technique to avoid answering a difficult or unpleasant question. The ellipsis, instead of answering, makes the interlocutor make assumptions, make guesses, that is, in fact, puts him at a disadvantage. Naturally, such a technique does not always work, besides, it will not work to avoid direct questions forever, and sooner or later you will still have to “show your cards”.
but on the other hand
Complete openness and directness can become no less unpleasant than the love of innuendo, since the flow of sincerity is perceived by many people as aggressive pressure on the interlocutor. It is implicitly implied that a sincere and open person can count on the same honesty and directness from his counterpart, but not everyone is ready for this.
One way or another, if your partner's communication habits seem annoying to you, it is better to do without the understatement, since the relationship is largely based on communication. In many cases, a frank conversation can help, if not relieve a partner of the habit of reticence, then at least understand the reasons for this tendency. Understatement often leads to suspicion and anxiety, although its reasons in some cases can be caused by completely innocent things such as the peculiarities of upbringing.
