Conflicts between people sometimes arise quite unexpectedly. People hurt each other with words or deeds. It is easy to offend another person, as well as to be offended by yourself. But to apologize or forgive offenses is often not only difficult, but for some it is almost impossible. But it is necessary to be able to forgive.
Instructions
Step 1
Understand: negative, negative emotions, experiences, including resentment, are a heavy burden and destroy from the inside, first of all, the one who experiences these feelings.
Step 2
Understand the reasons for the resentment. Perhaps these reasons will not be serious. It's just that at the moment of a quarrel, a conflict, a person most often does not realize, cannot analyze and adequately assess what is happening.
Step 3
Tell someone close or unfamiliar about your resentment (for example, a fellow traveler in a compartment on a train). Or write it down on a piece of paper. This will help assess the situation, give an opportunity to look at it from the outside. Perhaps after that you will be able to smile and regard the offense as a completely trifling event.
Step 4
Relive the resentment, do not rip off the evil caused by it on other people. It is better to be alone with yourself, take a walk, go to the place where you have been planning for a long time, but still could not choose the time.
Step 5
Admit it to yourself honestly if you are getting some kind of benefit, dividends from an offense. Perhaps the game of "victim", in the "offended" you even like it. Many sympathize, regret, try to understand, help. Convenient position, but some kind of dead end. Therefore, it is better not to get carried away with such a life scenario.
Step 6
Try to understand and accept the point of view of the conflict and the other side. This is what turns out to be the most difficult and difficult. Take a step forward. Remember that resentment destroys you. And when taking a step towards the offender, forgiving insults, do not assume that you are committing a heroic act. You must do this for yourself.
Step 7
It is absolutely not necessary to inform the abuser of the decision to forgive him. Just show it with your behavior. After all, this is your choice, not a favor to the opposite side. It is you who are freeing yourself from the negative emotional burden. Forgiveness is helping yourself, not another.
Step 8
If possible, go to the river, listen to how the water “speaks” quietly, as if time imperceptibly flows and leaves somewhere. Let go of your grievances along with the flowing, quietly murmuring water. When a person forgives, he feels better, cleaner, happier.
