We are used to being offended and sometimes we cannot contain this emotion, no matter how hard we try. Meanwhile, experts in the field of psychosomatics have proven that strong emotions can make you sick. Especially if they occur all the time. The most difficult disease - oncology - appears precisely because of grievances. A cancer patient lives by the principle "I will die, but I will not forgive!"
Is it possible not to be offended at all?..
We live by stereotypes: offended - offended, angry - angry, and so on all the time. That is, we follow the circumstances, like a sliver floating on a river. However, a person can and should rise above circumstances, if only because negative emotions negatively affect health - the science of psychosomatics speaks about this. And folk wisdom says that "all diseases are from the nerves."
Moreover, most diseases are caused by resentment. Because offended, a person begins to experience other negative emotions: anger, fear, guilt and a desire for revenge, and much more negative. Sometimes the resentment is so strong that it “overwhelms”, and we cannot do anything with ourselves, we cannot help but be offended.
And nevertheless, learning to forgive is necessary if you do not want to cause illness in your body with your own negative. And one more thing: all religions of the world claim that forgiveness is the highest virtue of man, bringing him closer to the Creator, that is, to the ideal.
So, you were offended (or rather, you were offended because the opponent, perhaps, did not want to hurt you). What to do? First, try to find emotional balance. Calm music, funny comedy, aroma lamp, a walk in nature - everything that helps to calm the raging emotions. This is necessary, because in an anxious state, a person is unable to make an adequate decision, and no good thought will come to his head.
After the emotional background becomes more or less calm, you need to remember the moment of the outbreak of resentment and soberly assess - is the reason for the resentment so important? As a rule, we often get offended because of trifles or simply because the stress has accumulated, and at that moment our patience overflowed. The person at whom you were offended did not understand your reaction, and in response he was also offended. He considers your attitude towards him unfair - this is how a conflict occurs.
If you are really offended, you still cannot be offended. Moreover, the offender is neither cold nor hot from this, and your body is bad. Therefore, the best way out is to try to take the place of your enemy. Often we do not know what thoughts and feelings moved a person during a conversation. And when you start to understand, everything becomes clearer. Sometimes a person will "wind" a minor offense so that he does not find a place because of grief. Do not wind up your emotions, try to be rational.
It's good to talk to your opponent and find out what caused this attitude towards you. Namely: not “why did you do this to me, but“what did I do wrong?”It often happens that in such a conversation it turns out to find the truth or come to an agreement. think, sorting out the possible options for the reasons for such an attitude. In this case, you can close your eyes and enter a state of meditation: here you are in the place of the one who offended you. It was you who uttered rudeness and left. And look: what the person thought at that time, what he was worried about what he was worried about. He is the same as you - with his emotions and desires. What caused him to be negative towards you? Maybe this is your fault? In the process of meditation, images, thoughts, scraps will arise. memories, and you can understand why the person did this. Understanding is the main step to forgiveness.
If that doesn't work for you, think higher. Expand the boundaries of your consciousness, take it away from your resentment to the scale of the universe, for example. And imagine that each person is a spirit who came to Earth to fulfill his mission. On this path, there are tests that must be passed calmly and steadfastly. And now one of these spirits behaved wrongly towards you. However, it has nothing to do with it. This space, the world through it sends you a test that you have to go through, that's all. Have gone right - the world will no longer test you this way. Failed - the tests will be repeated in a stronger version. As the saying goes: "They carry water to the offended."
Practical trainings from resentment are in the book by Svetlana Peunova "Live without grievances". It will help you get rid of grudges forever.
