In recent years, the psychology of family relations has attracted increased interest among specialists. Psychologists are especially interested in the crises of family life and how couples experience them. So, for example, one of the questions related to difficult situations in the life of every cell of society is how to psychologically prepare for a particular crisis.
The word "crisis" is inextricably linked for many with the concept of economic. Few think about the fact that in life, especially family life, a person also regularly experiences crises. Some consider them nothing more than fiction and myth. Others are sure that all this is a whim. And this is despite the fact that even quite strong-looking couples break up against the background of crises.
Psychologists, on the other hand, assure that you can prepare for every crisis in family relations, if there is such a desire. The main thing is to know the enemy by sight. Moreover, not every crisis is bad. Some are given to learn something and fix something.
To prepare for a crisis psychologically, you need to understand that there are problems that arise due to age, and there are those that are associated with the time and events of life together.
The crisis years include the first, third, fifth and seventh years after the wedding. These periods are called the crisis of living together. True, it should be borne in mind that these figures are averaged. For some, crises may come earlier, for others later, for others - as on schedule. The crisis of the first year occurs for the reason that the couple has already got used to each other, life is adjusted, the romantic images of princes and princesses have already dispelled. You need to be prepared in advance that your partner is not a permanent prince from a fairy tale: smart, healthy, romantic and cheerful. In fact, many people get sick, don’t dye and like to wear a Mickey Mouse T-shirt at home. So that the stress from the removed masks is not strong, you need to diversify your life, for example, to define certain home clothes for the house - beautiful, elegant and at the same time comfortable. In addition, be sure to tune in to compromises and not push each other.
In the third and fifth year of life, crises usually occur due to the appearance of children in the house. Upbringing, childbirth, lack of sleep, a new distribution of responsibilities lead to quarrels and scandals. It is necessary to read books and magazines in advance to prepare for what may await you after the birth of your baby. After giving birth, you should immediately agree on the distribution of responsibilities in the family. This will only work if both partners are adults and mature people.
In the seventh year, there is a crisis of novelty. After all, it seems that the partners know literally everything about each other and it is rather difficult to surprise with something. If you begin to feel that you are slowly being covered with dissatisfaction with your partner and at the same time you have begun to look around and evaluate others on the streets as opposed to being together with your partner, it is time to act. It is necessary to gather strength and organize the novelty in the family. Change your haircut, wardrobe, come up with a new hobby for the whole family, for example, joint hiking trips, etc. This will be useful from the point of view of psychology for each of the spouses, because each of them will feel in a new status.
The midlife crisis is another challenging period. He is able to poison the lives of partners no less than the problems that arise during the years of family life. For men, this is a period of rethinking their lives, during which it seems to them that they are still in their prime, and the family is an extra burden. Ladies, on the other hand, also think about their lives, but at the same time evaluate themselves more in terms of their own solvency - profession, female share, etc. The main psychological preparation here is a change of hobbies, a change in occupation, joint dialogues with a spouse, and much more, which will allow you to find common points of contact and support each other.
The crises of later years of marriage are caused by monotony and fatigue. Here it is enough to have the desire to preserve the marriage so that there is enough imagination to figure out how to preserve it. So, for example, you can visit a psychologist together, come up with new activities, for example, travel, and give each other a little freedom.
Crises are not as bad as they seem. Each of them is given to a couple in order to once again look at their family from the outside and understand what can be improved and improved, and what manners and behavior can be abandoned.
