Many people, even those in high positions who have to make speeches and presentations to employees and subordinates, experience an inexplicable fear and shyness when coming into contact with a stranger. What can be done in such a situation?
Instructions
Step 1
First of all, it is necessary to abstract from the situation or recognize the latter as banal. Ask yourself a few questions:
What is actually happening?
Why am I afraid to come up and talk to a person?
What happens if I do this?
What happens if I give up my intention?
Define your goal:
Why would you meet this person?
Why would this person get to know you?
However, remember that in the first step - overcoming shyness and fear of dating - your goal is to train your communication skills. Treat the situation as a personal growth process.
Step 2
The first thing to do is to "banalize" the situation. Indeed, you are going to do what hundreds of thousands of people do every day. People get to know each other, people communicate and part ways. Remember that you are a unique and inimitable person, you have no less chances to meet and develop a relationship with a person than anyone else. Remember that even those who are significantly inferior to you in many criteria, from appearance to intellectual development, successfully meet and develop relationships. Repeat to yourself: "if something is available to someone, then it is not difficult for me either!"
Step 3
Change the vector of values. Let's break persistent patterned behavior and perceptions. Any acquaintance on the street is essentially research. Imagine that you are a researcher studying how people react to your behavior. You are not going to get to know a person, but to observe his reaction, emotions and draw conclusions for yourself. It's not scary at all. We live in the XXI century, no one will hit you with a stone ax and will not sacrifice you to a pagan deity. Discover the emotional world of the person you came into contact with. Believe me, it’s no less exciting than listening to stories about how others did it.
Step 4
Identify an object or situation on which to build contact. For example, if a person you like walks with a dog, then go up to him and start talking to the animal, complimenting him: “What a cute dog you are, how smart and well-groomed you are”! Then you can turn with questions to the owner or owner, about where you can buy such a puppy, how much do puppies of this breed cost now?.. It is hard to imagine that the owner of the dog will not show interest in communicating with you. Then you can ask the person to send you a link to a site dedicated to this breed by giving him a piece of paper with your email address. Be sure that along with the links, we will receive a phone number. They are already waiting for you!..
Step 5
Join the basic emotion of the person. If a girl is standing at the exit of a building, waiting for the rain, then start talking to yourself or with an imaginary interlocutor about frequent rains at this time of year, and then ask her what she thinks? If she keeps up the conversation, then in a couple of minutes you can reach out to her to introduce herself and offer to go with you under an umbrella. You, of course, should be with her along the way …
