Life is full of events, and not everyone is perceived by a person with a plus sign. On the contrary, some of them people tend to evaluate as “losses”, “defeats”, “misses”. But you can try to change the situation by changing your attitude towards it.
"Mechanical" methods
It is very difficult to convince yourself that everything is fine when events turn out not at all the way you would like it: the subconscious mind quickly recognizes the deception and smashes your "arguments" to smithereens. To prevent this from happening, you can use various techniques and techniques. So, and N. I. Kozlov, the creator of the training center "Synton" and the author of many books on practical psychology, advises to start with "mechanical" methods of working with the subconscious.
In particular, Kozlov offers 2 simple exercises:
- "Good!". In response to any event that happens in you, mentally say "Good!" At first, perhaps, it will be perceived by your subconscious mind as a "mockery", and it will actively object to such an assessment of the situation. But Kozlov argues that gradually such a negative reaction will go away, and the rating “good” will no longer cause internal rejection.
- Total "Yes!" For any suggestion, statement addressed to you, start the answer with consent. Even if your point of view is fundamentally different from the position of the interlocutor! But this by no means means agreement with everyone and in everything. Starting your reply with the word "Yes", in the future you can give your objections and counterarguments. But the initial “yes” will set you on a positive wave, remove the inner protest in response to the words of the interlocutor, make you look for points for constructive dialogue and mutual understanding.
At first, both of these methods will look very artificial, but in the future they will organically enter your speech and consciousness, and the skill of a generally positive reaction to any external circumstances will be formed.
Work with consciousness
After the above exercises have been mastered firmly enough, you can proceed to work on a conscious level.
- When any event occurs in your life, try to find the pluses and benefits that it can bring you. Write down a list of all the "bonuses" that you can get out of this situation. You will see that there are many such "pluses".
- If, no matter how hard you try, you cannot find a single positive moment in what is happening to you, remember that sometimes the most unpleasant events in life turn out to be quite favorable over time. Think of these obstacles as warnings from the Universe. Perhaps in this way it wants to save you from more serious troubles.
- If grief really happened in life, an irreparable loss, remember that any event adds to a person's life wisdom and experience. As F. Nietzsche said, "What does not kill us makes us stronger."
