The ability to listen to the interlocutor helps to build trusting relationships and ensure mutual understanding. In addition, without this skill, it is impossible to effectively resolve a variety of problems and conflicts. Learning to listen is not that difficult.
Don't get distracted and maintain eye contact
One of the basic rules for effective communication is eye contact. The person you are talking to may not follow him for various reasons, but as a person who knows how to listen, you should give your attention to the interlocutor. Put aside newspapers, magazines, telephone, etc., do not be distracted by extraneous things. This rule does not force you to sit face to face with the interlocutor and not take your eyes off him during long conversations. You can even walk around the room, but when it’s time to listen, look at the person, even if they don’t. You do not need to look closely, you can avert it. The main thing is to keep your attention and not dive into your own thoughts.
Do not interrupt and do not rush to judge the interlocutor
A clear sign of inability to listen is the habit of jumping to conclusions from what the interlocutor says. In addition to the fact that a person shows his inattention to the speaker, by such actions he offends him. Remember that the person you are talking to expresses his thoughts consistently, you cannot know how he will end his speech.
Don't interrupt him or judge him for what he says, even if you don't like his words. Never rush the other person, trying to quickly understand what he means. People can talk and think at different paces, relax and listen carefully until the end. You can ask clarifying questions, but only during the short pauses that your interlocutor will make.
Stay on top of the conversation
A fairly common mistake of listeners is distraction by details in the speaker's speech, which are not directly related to the essence of what he is saying. For example, a person talks about a conflict that he had with his boss. In the process of presentation, he makes small digressions, speaking, for example, about the weather that was outside. The listener seizes on this digression and begins to speak on a completely abstract topic, forgetting what the interlocutor is saying to him. This is a clear sign of inability to listen, which must be eliminated.
Keep Feedback
The interlocutor's speech can be very dynamic and emotional. In such cases, people often need confirmation that the listeners understand what they are talking about. Show it, nod at the right moment, or simply say yes, I understand, I understand, or anything else that fits the context of the conversation. Such feedback will show the interlocutor that you are listening to him very carefully, your attention is completely turned to him.
