Resentment is the most common human reaction to other people's behavior. It manifests itself in any relationship: between loved ones, with children and parents, among friends and at work. If someone does not behave as expected, resentment arises. It can be easy and forget after a while, or it can be very serious.
A person's emotions are different, but the offense is one of the most difficult. It is difficult to forget about it, but sometimes it is unbearable to carry it inside yourself. Psychologists today offer many ways to deal with such feelings. And here it is important to realize that there is an offense, and that it is time to let it go, because it brings more worries to the one who was offended.
Method of writing letters
Resentment can be removed by writing letters. This is a long process, but it works even with the greatest emotions. To implement it, you need free time, when no one is interfering, a few sheets of paper, a pen or pencil.
Find a time when no one is bothering you. Sit down at the table, relax. You have to write a letter to the person who offended you. And not one message, but three. Of course, you can do all this in turn, not in one day, but complete liberation will come when the whole process is completed.
The first essay will be about what this person did wrong. Blame him, write down everything he did. Imagine saying this to the person. The more you describe it, the better, the more you remember, the more effective everything will work. At the same time, tears are possible, this is a normal reaction, you do not need to restrain them. You release the resentment from within, letting it rise to the surface.
In the process of writing the first letter, you will realize that you yourself have sometimes provoked the offender. It will come in the form of awareness. And the second letter will be with the words: yes, I was guilty or guilty too. Now it's worth listing your mistakes. Again there will be tears, understanding that everything is interconnected. Also, do not hide anything, write in more detail.
And the third letter is a balance between the first and the second. You have already understood that not one person is to blame, but both participants in the events. Start writing a letter as if you are going to give it away. It is not necessary to do this, but if the desire arises, your abuser will be very surprised.
After all the procedures, it doesn't matter if they were written right away or at intervals of several days, you will feel great relief. The resentment will go away and will no longer bother you.
Pronouncing
It is possible to deal with grievances by the method of communication. It is similar to the previous one, the principle is the same, but you do not need to write. Just close your eyes, imagine a person in front of you and start expressing all your claims to him. Do it emotionally to get it out. Then ask for forgiveness for those moments where you yourself were wrong.
Speaking helps, but usually it needs to be done not once, but several times. Complete liberation will come only after the 3rd or 4th time. And when a person writes, more nuances emerge in his memory than during a conversation. Choosing between the two methods, it is better to express feelings in the form of a letter, and then also burn the records.
