They say that gentleness and kindness are the properties of noble natures. But, unfortunately, there is not always a place in the world only for nobility. If you do not learn how to be tough in time, you can seriously pay. Unfortunately, these days this quality is in demand in relationships with relatives, colleagues, and friends.
Instructions
Step 1
Believe that gentleness isn't always good. Mildness often arises from a desire to please everyone. A person tries not to hurt anyone with a refusal, until he himself begins to "drown" under the burden of his obligations. By doing things for others, you deprive them of the opportunity to learn to do the same for themselves. But life does not always present them with trouble-free people as friends or relatives. Sooner or later, they may face the need to solve their problems on their own. And if they do not succeed in this, you may receive not a portion of gratitude, but a portion of hatred for not giving people a chance to try their hand.
Step 2
Pause communication with manipulators. If a person is soft when it is needed, and cruel when it is required, he acts adequately. If he is always soft, this is not the correct adaptation to reality. But in order to learn how to defend your position, you must first restore self-esteem. One way to learn to value yourself is to filter your social environment. Until you get out of the yoke of manipulators and those who use you, it will be difficult to do all the further steps. Of course, this is sometimes difficult to do. For example, if the main manipulator of your life lives with you in the same apartment. But at least you need to reduce the number of those who use you. Find a way to limit your interactions with these people.
Step 3
Learn to understand exactly what you want. In the struggle for the ability to be tough, you need to get rid of the desires imposed on you. A gentle person often convinces himself that he wants to do the same as someone who uses him. And if the number of freeloaders is drastically reduced, a kind of "breakdown" begins. I would like to help someone contrary to their interests, but there is no one. We must go through this period and try to find in our soul the shoots of trampled desires. Having found them, cultivate these desires in yourself, give them time and attention. Having become more harmonious in relation to your desires, you will be surprised to find that you will not be less interesting person for those around you. On the contrary, more people will appear around you who will respect you.
