Manipulators are found everywhere: the boss threatens to be fired for delay, the seller hints that the goods are “flying away,” friends ask for help for the hundredth time in a week. And in every situation you need to be able to reflect the attack and react correctly. It is much more difficult when loved ones begin to manipulate, and this requires special preparation.
Instructions
Step 1
Don't let them command. Very often people who are imperious by nature simply cannot stop themselves: they interfere in all matters, knowing better how to do the right thing, with whom to be friends and, in general, the answers to all questions. Such peremptory intervention should be stopped every time until the domestic manipulator realizes that it is better to teach life to someone else.
Step 2
Do not allow flattery. Another favorite extreme of skillful manipulation is overt sycophancy and flattery. First, there are enthusiastic reviews of your achievements, songs of praise and applause, and a little later, as if by the way, there is a request for an unplanned purchase or a solution to global problems.
Step 3
Don't feel obligated. Of course, everyone loves their loved ones and feels responsible for their future. However, the motive for caring and other responsibilities should be sincere love and your own desire to do something. Not all requests should be fulfilled every minute, but somewhere you need to be able to refuse. Help loved ones from the heart, and not under duress.
Step 4
Eliminate feelings of pity over trifles. Manipulators like to pretend to be poor and unhappy, and the reason for their hardships is the surrounding evil people and difficult life circumstances. If the habit of complaining about a difficult fate has been formed a long time ago, communication can turn into torture and endless discussion of a range of unsolved problems.
Step 5
Listen to wishes, not accusations. In situations where there is a misunderstanding or an unseemly act has been committed, one must apologize and look for a joint solution to the problems. Endless reproaches can only become an incitement to repeat an unpleasant incident and speak of a desire to experience the role of a righteous victim again and again. Every person has the right to make a mistake, and those who like to emphasize other people's shortcomings, in practice, are endowed with them to a greater extent.
Step 6
Consider your interests. Another favorite technique of manipulators is to impose their interests and skillfully present them as common, joint goals. Analyze the arguments: whether the proposed action plan, so colorfully outlined by a loved one, will really change your life for the better. Be vigilant, and if instead of a valuable idea you are simply presented with a veiled whim, calmly and firmly refuse.
