Too docile character, inability to say “no” often leads to a sad result - people simply start to use such a person, calling him a “rag”, “bumpkin” and other offensive epithets. If you, too, constantly obey, do not have the right to vote, the current situation weighs on you, it is time to move on to decisive actions that change the usual arrangement of positions.
It is necessary
- - mirror;
- - subscription to the pool or gym.
Instructions
Step 1
Analyze the situation, answer yourself the following questions: is it difficult for you to refuse someone? Do you consider yourself too soft, docile? Do people around you know about this and take advantage of your personality traits? Do you even give difficult promises and strive to fulfill them at all costs, sometimes to the detriment of yourself and your family? If you answered yes to most of these questions, the situation is very serious indeed.
Step 2
Learn to refuse tactfully. As you look at your specific situation, find a reason that prevents you from saying no. Most likely, this is the fear of offending a person, the thought that he will not be able to cope without your help, etc. In fact, all of these beliefs are only partly true. The petitioner can always find another way out of the situation - for example, turn to someone else. As for the resentment, then, most likely, it will be, but if the petitioner is your friend or close person, then he, most likely, will understand that you are not obliged to constantly please him, that you may have your own affairs and problems.
Step 3
Say no with really compelling reasons for rejection. For a start, you can practice in front of a mirror. Your refusal should sound firm, not guilty or angry. Remember that you have not entered into a work contract and have every right to dispose of your personal time at your own discretion.
Step 4
Refusing to someone, do not make excuses, since you have not promised anything to anyone. If a person begins to manipulate you and be indignant, asking why you do not want or cannot satisfy his request, ask why you should do this?
Step 5
Practice being strong on the little things. Does someone out of habit ask you to borrow money? Answer that your finances are tight right now. Are you tired of endless dialogue with a talkative acquaintance? Say that you are short on time and need to go, etc. By learning to deny small things, you can help yourself say a firm no in more serious situations.
Step 6
Build your self-esteem. To say "no" is usually afraid of notorious people who do not believe in themselves. Educate yourself, find an interesting hobby, sign up for any courses, buy a subscription to a pool or gym, etc. Make your life rich and interesting so that you do not have time to fulfill other people's whims and doubts about the correctness of the decisions made.
Step 7
Of course, once you've learned to say no, you shouldn't always do it. Readily help your friends, your loved ones and just strangers - when you really need it. But be prepared to refuse if the aspirant's plans conflict with your intentions and interests.
