Child aggression has become a frequent topic not only in neighborhood gossip, but also in the news. And if kids go into hysterics or try to beat peers with weak fists, then teenagers sometimes have a problem with attacking adults or filming a group beating of a classmate on the phone. The reasons for this behavior require mandatory correction together with a competent specialist.
Life on a volcano
Some of the cases of children's outbursts of rage are due to hereditary predisposition, brain injuries, birth trauma, etc. There is little love and care - the child needs medical attention, special treatment. But sometimes the parents justify their mistakes of upbringing by the hyperactivity of the child, even if none of the doctors made such a diagnosis to him. And they even try to suppress it with devices purchased on the advice of a pharmacist. But in every situation you need an outside perspective. Moreover, the view of a specialist.
Very often, parents themselves do not hold back their emotions with a child. They scandal loudly, they can raise a hand against a loved one. And the kid himself often flies in if he comes under a hot hand. Often you can see how the mother, instead of comforting the fallen child, spanks him, screams and promises to quit if he does not stop crying. Is it any wonder that boys and girls in such families are able to express emotions only by shouting and fighting? Add to this the feeling that a child is unnecessary when he was born unwanted, or of the wrong sex, or at the wrong moment … Or his inconsistency with parental expectations: they wanted a lively brave girl, but she is phlegmatic and introvert by nature.
The inability to express feelings leads the child to aggression in other traumatic situations for him. This could be the move of a best friend, transfer to another school, the death of a loved one, or the birth of a younger brother, who has now become the center of attention in the family.
Real or pretend?
A separate conversation is the influence on the child's behavior of games or films that are unsuitable for his age. Often parents notice that with a passion for cartoons, where there is a lot of shouting and fights, they seem to be substituted for the kids. They often cry, fight, sleep poorly. It is no coincidence that age marking was introduced on games and films. Scenes that are too violent can have a profound effect on a child, no matter how old he is. So, the five-year plan can be scared and drawn fights, even if good heroes win in them. A teenager will be harmful to computer games with an abundance of blood and murder.
Young children simply do not understand that everything in movies and cartoons is pretend, they perceive what is happening on the screen as reality. Therefore, they may experience real pain if their character in the game is injured, or sincerely believe that jumping off the roof of a house is not fatal. Older guys, although they understand the unreality of what is happening, they have a subconscious permission to take dangerous actions. They can beat someone just for fun, because in the game they have done this a thousand times, and they did not get anything for it. Moreover, in the game, a wounded or killed enemy does not actually die - it just disappears from the screen.
Gain trust
Helping your child to overcome aggression is not only possible, but also necessary. Try to spend more time with children, be interested in their affairs, but at the same time, do not do it arbitrarily, do not put pressure on them. Learn to understand and express your feelings. Of course, you need to start at a very early age. Does the daughter hit the boy who took her scoop? Invite the girl to say that she does not like this behavior of a little friend, that she will give him a toy later, but for now she needs it herself. In general, give an alternative.
Sometimes an elementary physical discharge helps to throw out the rage. Buy a punching bag for your child, enroll in the sports section. But more importantly, watch your own behavior. How do you talk to your household? How do you respond to the rudeness of the seller or the aggression of the conductor on the bus? What words do you call other drivers if you are driving? After all, children simply copy the behavioral matrix of their parents. If you feel that you are not coping yourself, find an opportunity to solve the problem with a psychologist or psychotherapist.
