Mutual trust is a strong chain that binds the closest people stronger than any assurances of eternal friendship or marriage vows. Breaking such a chain means not only offending a person, but also undermining his faith in the reliability and justice of the world order. Only time and the endless patience of both of you can restore lost trust.
Instructions
Step 1
Discuss the current situation. It can be very difficult to sit down at the negotiating table and calmly discuss the situation without shouting and recriminations, but it is necessary to restore relations. Engage in a serious conversation when you are confident that you are ready for it. Find out if you treat the reasons that undermined trust between you in the same way. In any conflict, two people are to blame, so each must admit his mistakes. To avoid accusatory intonation, start with the pronoun "I", not "you." Try the role-reversal psychological trick. Let each speak on behalf of the other, as if trying on someone else's image.
Step 2
Agree on "compensation". Psychologists advise to stipulate some action with which the offender can atone for his act. It is better to invite an uninterested person to discuss what may be sufficient compensation. It can become a mutual friend who knows both of you well and will not take sides. Compensation must include a number of actions. If a problem has arisen between the spouses, then it can be a written apology, an appeal to a family psychologist, a vacation that the victim will completely plan to his liking. The main thing is that the atoning act does not turn into banal revenge and promote family reunification, and not the emergence of new grievances. Once the "bill has been paid", the problem no longer needs to come back. It is very important that both sides are firmly aware of this.
Step 3
Don't hide anything from each other. Only the utmost transparency of each act can teach you to trust each other anew. Try to keep open diaries. Each of you can briefly write down what made him happy or upset in your relationship over the past day. Discuss each other's notes once or twice a week.
Step 4
Spend more time together. Lost trust between friends is sometimes more difficult to restore than in a family. Phone calls are becoming less frequent, pauses between meetings are longer, and communication is reduced to nothing. To maintain a friendship, take a vacation together. Go on excursions, ride horses, master rock climbing. Your vacation should be active and full of things you can do together. There is simply no time left to nurture old grievances. A good way to regain trust in the family is to start renovations. New problems will overshadow old experiences, and living in a renovated home will inspire you with the feeling that your relationship has entered a new stage.
