Anger, aggression, irritability, rage - these feelings are familiar to everyone. Everyone sooner or later experienced these negative emotions, but only the behavior of people is not the same: some behave with restraint and dignity, others violently, violently and ugly (they are not ashamed of harsh statements, shouts, abuse and curses). Intemperance spoils a career, family life, relationships, and undermines the nervous system. In the meantime, it is quite possible to learn to restrain negative emotions, to show calmness and restraint.
Instructions
Step 1
Try not to look for someone to blame. No one can drive us to rage and anger, except ourselves. More precisely, we allow ourselves to be brought to this state. Be above this, do not transfer responsibility to others, learn to answer for your actions yourself. This is the only way you can change something in your life. Shouting “I am guilty myself” will only exacerbate the situation. Don't let yourself be ruled like a puppet.
Step 2
Seek to anticipate the problem that could trigger a fit of rage. Analyze the circumstances under which you most often explode and try to avoid them. Learn to work around sharp corners. If a tense situation is calculated in advance, you can model your behavior in advance, surprising those around you with your insight and dignified restraint.
Step 3
When the anger and irritation builds up, take a deep breath and start speaking in a quieter and more measured tone (slow). Do not explain to your interlocutor what and why he is wrong in this situation, do not stigmatize or label him, but try to clearly show your attitude to what is happening. Breathing calmly (and if possible evenly), let your opponent shout. When he is exhausted, it will be easier for you to explain something.
Step 4
You should not justify your intemperance and fervor with the notorious phrase "hot blood flows in my veins." Flare up, give anger free will or restrain - this is each person decides for himself, and blood has nothing to do with it. Such a character trait as restraint and equanimity is brought up (including independently).
Step 5
Learn more about self-regulation techniques. The use of these techniques helps not only to relieve irritation, extinguish outbursts of anger, but also helps to find harmony with yourself and with the world around you. We are talking about yoga, Pilates, breathing exercises, oriental practices, etc.
Step 6
On the path to overcoming your anger, remember to analyze your behavior every day. Replay the situations that have occurred mentally, draw conclusions for yourself, reflect on how you acted and reacted then, and how you would have acted now, when the nervous system is normal and you are not nervous. You can write down your thoughts in a personal diary - transferred to paper, they are perceived and realized more clearly. Over time, you will notice that in your pursuit of restraint and equanimity, your correct responses become reflexive.
