It is very difficult to survive betrayal. Betrayal is difficult and takes a long time to forgive, and the process of acceptance sometimes drags on even longer than the process of understanding and forgiveness. The fact is that betrayals towards us are most often committed by close or significant people, trust is undermined, the best feelings are mocked, the world no longer seems safe, and it is very difficult to get out of all this.
How to survive betrayal and how much it is possible to restore confidence in the surrounding reality, we will talk in this article.
Adoption process
Until the very end, people do not want to realize that they have been betrayed. We are looking for reasons, we are looking for explanations. It is with this that numerous attempts to "clarify the relationship" are connected - it seems to a person that as soon as he receives some rational explanation of why he was betrayed, everything around will fall into place. And, in fact, there is no explanation. And they would sound rather ridiculous: "I betrayed you, because …" and further point by point.
Betrayal is just betrayal
It is easier for some people to blame themselves, someone “goes out” on anger and plans for revenge, it is easier for someone to complain about the fate of everyone who is ready to listen to them, someone tries to go headlong into work or “replace” something else: new relationships, food, sleep, extreme. Each person has his own way of coping with negative emotions, the most important thing here is to know that this is exactly a way of coping, a temporary measure, and by no means a solution to the problem.
Forgiveness process
Many people misunderstand the word forgiveness. It is not at all necessary, if you have forgiven a person, to continue some kind of relationship with him, it is not at all necessary to trust him, as before, and pretend that nothing bad has ever happened between you. Forgiving is not for the offender; forgiving is for you.
Hidden unprocessed grievances, as you know, destroy a person at all levels: psychosomatic diseases, neuroses begin, interpersonal communication is harmed, in other words, you move away from friends, acquaintances and relatives. No traitor is worth it.
In order to forgive and let go of the problem, you need, first, to admit that it exists (the process of acceptance), that you are not to blame for the existence of this problem, find support from the outside and try, without justifying your offender for anything, say to myself, that yes, it was, it was and passed. The experience was painful, but useful in some ways. It would be a good idea to really think about what exactly this experience was doing here. You have become stronger, you have become wiser, you do not want to let this situation affect your life. You let go of this situation and, along with it, the person who created it.
